|
snakechic
|
1# |
Rank:none
Status:
Score:0
Posts:3489
From:
Registered:
11/02/2004
Time spent:
1846 hours
|
(Date Posted:12/19/2005 01:06:46)
Hiya..welcome back
yeah I read your old post, a lot of posters enjoyed and found it useful...fundie families...don'tcha just want to scream!...take your time...its difficult to express it all in a few posts.
--------------------------------------------------------------
In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.
-- George H Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God
|
|
Shadowself
|
2# |
Status:
From:
Registered:
01/16/2004
Time spent:
1773 hours
|
(Date Posted:12/19/2005 18:55:17)
Glad you're back home with us...pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and shoot the breeze with us!
--------------------------------------------------------------
A big revelation in my professional training was that humans can learn skills for living and relating. We don"t have to be desperate for a miracle of God to make us decent.--Marlene Winell
|
|
MaggieS
|
3# |
Rank:none
Status:
Score:0
Posts:18
From:
Registered:
01/14/2004
Time spent:
0 hours
|
(Date Posted:12/19/2005 20:15:52)
Thanks, you guys!
The weirdest thing is that I realized I stopped posting here and reading here because I was afraid. I was afraid of some kind of punishment for saying the things I said. One side of me was speaking logically and freely about how I had rejected the faith; another part of me was and always has been terrified that something bad would happen to me, that god would punish me, I guess. I had to finally acknowledge that my conflict was two-fold: not just me and my family, but me and my own past with the religion, my fears about it. That was SO hard. But I have a new desire now to integrate the parts of my brain--I really think that I grew up being very adept at some kind of splitting thing where I pressed down a lot of anxiety-ridden thoughts and split myself into several parts that I could only access independently of each other...this all sounds so weird and flakey, but I think it's part and parcel of the black-or-white thinking I was programmed with. Only recently have I discovered this girl in the middle--some of each, some good, some bad, conflicting thoughts and emotions--and that girl is ME! Integrating msyelf back into one clear identity is a huge thing for me right now. If anyone can relate to this, I'd love to hear about it!
For now I'll keep reading. There may be posts along these lines already here....
Again, thanks for the replies! Hope your day is a good one.
Laura
--------------------------------------------------------------
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees & the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
-Max Ehrmann
|
|
snakechic
|
4# |
Rank:none
Status:
Score:0
Posts:3489
From:
Registered:
11/02/2004
Time spent:
1846 hours
|
(Date Posted:12/20/2005 03:26:07)
Reply to : MaggieS
another part of me was and always has been terrified that something bad would happen to me, that god would punish me, I guess. I had to finally acknowledge that my conflict was two-fold: not just me and my family, but me and my own past with the religion, my fears about it. That was SO hard. But I have a new desire now to integrate the parts of my brain--I really think that I grew up being very adept at some kind of splitting thing where I pressed down a lot of anxiety-ridden thoughts and split myself into several parts that I could only access independently of each other...this all sounds so weird and flakey, but I Only recently have I discovered this girl in the middle--some of each, some good, some bad, conflicting thoughts and emotions--and that girl is ME! Integrating msyelf back into one clear identity is a huge thing for me right now. If anyone can relate to this, I'd love to hear about it!
Hi...yes fear is a powerful controller and it seems to pop up in all different ways.Fear is what fundyland is all about....it changes who we are....and when we let that go we can be more ourselves...
I think I can 'get' what you are saying about the integration stuff. Nah! not weird of flakey. Everyone has periods in their life where there is a 'crisis' of indentity or however you want to put. Its an ongoing developmental task (imho). More about that later if you like. For example at 30years its a time to shake off the past/childhood stuff and relate to the world as an 'adult'....and then women reaching menopause are likely to go through that kind of phase as well as males when they give up work..................change is part of life. Maybe fundies don't really teach that to their children, that's its ok to 'change' and change your mind.
I recon fundamentalism or in particular growing up in a fundamentalist environment and/or household is a huge interference with 'normal' growth and identity formation. Fundies are all about changing and moulding a person to create an individual that is acceptable to that way of life and thought patterning. I recon most fundie teenagers are in a kind of suspended state and don't really grow up to be 'themselves' at all. However ....don't depair people are great at catching up and growing themselves up to be the people they wish to be. I eventually got the knack of it. 
Yeah..but getting to the nitty gritty ....I was fed the idea that I was the bad, evil one becasue I didn't 'praise tha lawd gawd' hard enough and basically ran a muck....that idea of the 'black' and 'white' sides to a personality is to me a very fundy thing to be created within the person....Me - I was just the "black sheep"....more about that later if you like. However I think my sibling was more into the 'faith' side of it so for her is was probably more of a conflict of the different sides. Good/bad......god/satan.....reward/punishment....and so on.
Its an amazingly long and widing road (pardon the pun)...to unravel the effects of growing up in a fundy house. Sometimes I wonder if its necessary to unravel all of it......self reflection is hard work! and sometimes I have a feeling I'm too much into the past and not enjoying Now enough! To be comfortable with the idea that 'nobody is perfect'...and we all fuck up and make mistakes. I personally have enjoyed highlighting the fact that fundies are not 'saints' at all but come in all shades.
I've just read Lacy's thread ..it reminds me again... children are taught that they are 'evil'......
--------------------------------------------------------------
In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.
-- George H Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God
|
|
MaggieS
|
5# |
Rank:none
Status:
Score:0
Posts:18
From:
Registered:
01/14/2004
Time spent:
0 hours
|
(Date Posted:12/20/2005 18:45:47)
"I recon fundamentalism or in particular growing up in a fundamentalist environment and/or household is a huge interference with 'normal' growth and identity formation. Fundies are all about changing and moulding a person to create an individual that is acceptable to that way of life and thought patterning. I recon most fundie teenagers are in a kind of suspended state and don't really grow up to be 'themselves' at all. However ....don't depair people are great at catching up and growing themselves up to be the people they wish to be.? eventually got the knack of it. "
YES! There is no doubt regarding the issues with identity formation. And the fact that you say you got the hang of finding one integrated identity and caught up gives me hope.
I also liked what you said about maybe not having to unravel all of it, or at least not all the time--that is something I have been thinking about lately as well. There HAS to be time for just being in the present, just being happy--as you said, this stuff is heavy, heavy, heavy...and no one can process it 24 hours a day.
All I can say is, I'm profoundly grateful for having found a place where there are THINKING, INTELLIGENT people discussing this stuff. Thanks for being here.
Laura
--------------------------------------------------------------
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees & the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
-Max Ehrmann
|
|
|
