As my last personal introduction was tragically lost by way of some nonsensical computer mishap, I am now bring you the new and exciting: "Ex-Evangelical Grad Student Studying Fundamentalists Anonymous Introduction Part II." Otherwise known as: "For Real This Time."BRIf an administrator feels that it is appropriate to delete my last attempt to introduce myself, I understand.) Firstly then, yes, I am an ex-evangelical. (Interesting the way that we identify ourselves by what it is that we are not; I would love to hear people's thoughts on this.) So it is that I come to this site with my own stories and long struggles. However, I am also a student, studying what it was I once was, and those who are, or once were, it too. My grad degree is interdisciplinary, an integration of Religious Studies, Women's Studies and Creative Writing. However, my primary focus is on females and evangelicalism. Lastly, I am an artist: a writer mostly, though also a maker and performer of theatre. I've been interviewing evangelical and ex-evangelical females for the past year and a half. These interviews have helped me make sense of my still-developing academic ideas and to make art as well. My hope is to give these communities a voice through both my academic and my artistic work. Last week, I asked St. Thomas if I could also "interview" the group here by way of tooling around the site, joining in your conversations, and posing a question or two. I assured him, as I assure you, that I have only the best intentions for my work. Furthermore, I promise you that I will never directly quote anyone on the site without their explicit permission. As a couple of people mentioned in response to the failed Part I of my introduction (thank you for your comments), I do have a blog. Feel free to check it out. There you can find out a bit more about me and what I am doing, though please be aware that the blog is on the way out soon. Youthgroupgirls.blogspot.com And finally, I'd love to ask a few questions of the group! 1)I am very interested in hearing females' stories about why they left the fold. I am interested in males' stories as well, though they pertain less to my work. 2)I am interested in the language of evangelicalism/fundamentalism/etc, and also the language of those who have left these strands of Christianity. I see on your site that you seem to have developed a language all your own ("Walk Awayers," "Penties," etc. Oh, and Snakechic, what is an "SDAist?") Are there others? 3)Any thoughts on what I am doing: stories from your life, stories of others' lives, opinions, etc, are always very welcome. I am very glad to meet all of you. Let me know if you have any questions. I would be happy to answer them! Artist Ethnographer
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(Date Posted:02/19/2007 17:28:12)
Reply to : ArtistEthnographer
Firstly then, yes, I am an ex-evangelical. (Interesting the way that we identify ourselves by what it is that we are not; I would love to hear people's thoughts on this.)
I don't think we do. It's relevant in this forum to say where you've come from but I certainly don't go round in my everyday life describing myself as an ex-fundy. I don't mention it at all really!
In a discussion with a christian it would also be relevant - in a "mate - I've been there seen it and done it - you're not going to talk me round" way.
Hello by the way!
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Marquis de Sade (Quills): Are your convictions so fragile they cannot stand in opposition to mine? Is your god so flimsy, so weak? For shame.
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(Date Posted:02/19/2007 23:39:08)
Reply to : ArtistEthnographer
2)I am interested in the language of evangelicalism/fundamentalism/etc, and also the language of those who have left these strands of Christianity. I see on your site that you seem to have developed a language all your own ("Walk Awayers," "Penties," etc. Oh, and Snakechic, what is an "SDAist?") Are there others?
Hey....my language is netspeak. & heaps of typo's.........nothing AT ALL like how I sound if you were to speak to me face tot face. i think any online study needs to take that into account. If you were to do a content analysis of the words, inflections etc...you'd also see how it changes depending on the topic, time, and who it is I'm communicating with. Also being aware that I have a life long habit of inventing words. I also collect common slang, swearwords from whatever region I'm living in or whoever I'm chatting with....I'm very interested in how people use langwidge and often will throw something into a convo, hat has recently tickled my fancy. But ...swearing...cussing is my forte....I enjoy it in my non internet time as well. I also sit back and observe the difference between posters............what kills me... is the oldie worldie flavor...and the ultra or uber 'correct' styles or how there is often a very event clash. Its also unfortunate but 'words' can trigger an emotional response from another poster that wasn't expected. Words in a chatroom ...phifffittt .....I was writing 'healings' the other days & thought to meself....self 'that's stupid"...why am I using a word like that?..............Sometimes I feel that to hang around online too often...the christian stuff /fundie shit is reinforced rather than dispelled..? bla bla bla bla...
Dot has already written something that I also do or should I say ...no do in my non internet time....I don't introduce myself ..."hi I'm an atheist, I post at WA etc..nor do I ever mention that I was once a Seven Day Adentist, nor do I say...that I was born into the sect as opposed to the other differentiation...the 'born againer'... Its not that important. My identity isn't constructed or created that way.
Quite frankly...I'm pissed to be the "subject "of yet another students study. (nothing personal) There have been quite a few students rocking up this way...but I haven't received feedback to this day.... I also don't wish to be part of a religious type/christian study...there is so much of that already. I feel that its somewhat familiar to how I felt being inside a church....to being a 'cockroach' under a microscope in that respect...that my online presence is reduced to an ingredient to become a product for further christian work.
I am however quite happy to yak with you without your research agenda .....but I'll understand if you don't
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In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.
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(Date Posted:02/20/2007 08:33:01)
Thank you for your honesty, Snakechic.
I think I understand how you feel. Your equating being "studied" with being in church especially resonates with me. There's something wonderful about being able to live your life without worrying about who is watching you, without wondering what people are surmising about you, without really caring. I remember experiencing that for the first time. I was eighteen; I'd just moved to Australia; it was my first time away (so far way!) from my evangelical church. And man oh man, the freedom, the weight off of my shoulders, it was just incredible, like nothing else.
Perhaps it would help you to know though, you're not really the subject of my study; I am. I am even having other people interview me for the work. My project is basically to see which of the experiences I had in and after my time in evangelicalism were exclusively my own and which are common among many. Why? Because those negative aspects that are common among many ought to be talked about as widely as possible if we ever want to make things better. This website is one of the best ways I've run into to do that. But my being an artist, I hope to go that route as well.
That having been said, I don't really know how to talk "without my research agenda." It's kinda my life. It's kinda just...me. Me struggling to understand, trying to see where we all fit, where I do, where I can, where we can. I suppose that I DO identify as a ex-. It is such a huge part of me, one of my defining character traits, this what-I-once-was. I wonder if anyone else feels this or if it is just me...
I'll make you a deal: I'll hang around here for a few weeks, write something up, and when I'm done, I'll send it to the group, finished or not, good or no. If I want to do any further "studying" beyond that, I'll check in again and see how everyone feels about that.
Before I go, let me just say that you made a lot of interesting points in your reply, Snakechic. If you decide that you wouldn't mind my using them in my paper, let me know over the next couple of weeks.
Thanks again!
Oh, and no worries, I will definitely be taking the whole "internet language"/"internet community" thing into account...)
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(Date Posted:02/20/2007 09:14:24)
Reply to : ArtistEthnographer
Apparently an angry emoticon shows up every time that I try to use a left parenthesis...
Yes - it catches me out as well! You can edit your posts. Whenever you put a left bracket right up against the left hand side of the "page" it turns in to an angry face. Just put a space between the bracket and the edge and it doesn't happen.
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Marquis de Sade (Quills): Are your convictions so fragile they cannot stand in opposition to mine? Is your god so flimsy, so weak? For shame.
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(Date Posted:02/20/2007 10:03:46)
Reply to : ArtistEthnographer
Before I go, let me just say that you made a lot of interesting points in your reply, Snakechic. If you decide that you wouldn't mind my using them in my paper, let me know over the next couple of weeks.
Perhaps it would be better to be specific about which bits you want to use and ask to quote it rather than ask for general approval to use it all?
I'm just saying that because if you asked me if you could use anything I've said I'd say no. Whereas if you said - can I quote you anonymously as saying Lee Marvin has a lovely voice - I'd probably say yes.
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Marquis de Sade (Quills): Are your convictions so fragile they cannot stand in opposition to mine? Is your god so flimsy, so weak? For shame.
I don't introduce myself as a walkawayer when I meet people because in my country religion is still somewhat a taboo subject especially the negative connotations. I joined this forum four years ago and although it took up a large part of my on-line life with daily visits to read and to post I didn't mention this forum to anybody for four months and that was only when I had been away camping with them. I was so embarassed I laughed. I kept going on about a certain member of this forum who also posted a lot when staying with a long term friend but didn't give a clue as to what the forum was about. I left him guessing and he guessed that it was a forum about keeping parrots.
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(Date Posted:02/22/2007 03:31:50)
Reply to : Chirpy
I left him guessing and he guessed that it was a forum about keeping parrots.
I love that...so funny.
meaning...I feel like a bloody parrot sometimes (no offense to parrots )....sittling on this here perch of mine in front of the computer. Sometime I just know I'm repeating myself.....Oh dear ...life is funny.!
"Nowat I meen"
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In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.
is the oldie worldie flavor...and the ultra or uber 'correct' styles or how there is often a very event clash. Its also unfortunate but 'words' can trigger an emotional response from another poster that wasn't expected. Words in a chatroom ...phifffittt .....I was writing 'healings' the other days & thought to meself....self 'that's stupid"...why am I using a word like that?..............Sometimes I feel that to hang around online too often...the christian stuff /fundie shit is reinforced rather than dispelled..? bla bla bla bla...
