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a free richard
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(Date Posted:06/19/2007 18:11:02)
Dear Lucianna,
I wish I could look directly at what you said, to make sure I say everything I want to say. I too was brought up in a hardcore fundamentalist religious background. The only advantage for me was that I had been taught in "eternal security", meaning that since Jesus Christ had died for every sin ever committed, and by trusting him in having done that, that there was no way I could "lose my salvation."
But I saw God the Father as an old man with a beard, looking down on me, shaking his head at all these sins I was constantly committing (even laughing was sinful since it was a wordly pleasure) and the Holy Spirit was nothing more than a "great white blob." But at least I did have a positive relationship with Jesus Christ, even though I carried this belief that I had been taught, that I had personally "nailed him to the cross."
When I lost the job I had in the kind of work I most ever liked doing, I saw that as punishment for this terrible sinful life I had been conditioned to believe I was living. It was just before this happened that I read "Just as I am" by Eugenia Price, a now deceased writer with whom I corresponded and later got to meet a couple of times. This became the turning point in my spiritual life and I began developing a relationship with God in which I felt loved in a way that only the hymn "In the Garden" best describes.
A later book of hers which I believe is titled "What Really Matters" is one that emphasizes how deep God always loves all of us, totally independent on what we may or may not do. I encourage you to go to Amazon. com (neither book is no longer in print) and read them. I believe it will do wonders for you.
I am no longer afraid of what may happen when I pass from death unto life. This event is something that is inevitable for everyone. I no longer have to be concerned about the "certainty" that there is a God. There either is one, or there isn't. Believing as deeply as is humanly possible that there is one, primaily because of the spiritual bonding I have with something I can only describe as the "Force of Love", I believe that when I do pass from death unto life that I will instantly be in the presence of this Force of Love. I expect to initially, figuratively speaking, be laying prostrate before God, realizing what little I did for this Force of Love, in return for all I have been given. And even then, this Force of Love will say "All has been forgiven" and wipe away the last tear from our eyes. Doing my best to live by the Golden Rule is the center point of my spiritual life now. I feel God's love.
This is my first time to try replying to anyone and hope it goes through. I also have an address for Walking Away From Fundamentalism which is waff tus at yahoo dot com. If you wish to communicate, pull everything together in this address and do the at and dot as you would in any address.
My best for you,
Richard Keenam
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In essential, unity
In non-essentials, liberty
In all things, love
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Lucianna88
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(Date Posted:06/19/2007 18:45:12)
Reply to : a free richard
Thank you Richard for your encouraging reply. It does help to know there are others who struggled with this type of thing, and Im glad your search has ended positively. I hope that in time I can have the peace that you feel. You're fortunate that you feel calm about death, I don't but I'm determined to find peace of mind and stop being afraid.
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a free richard
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(Date Posted:06/19/2007 19:49:23)
Glad I hopefully helped. The process of coming out of our fundamentalist guilt trips does not happen overnight. The best thing you could probably do is find a religious community in which you feel comfortable and accepted and listen to what they have to say. For me, it was finding the right kind of books to read. You'll make it and I hope you'll let me know how things are going.
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In essential, unity
In non-essentials, liberty
In all things, love
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Shadowself
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(Date Posted:06/22/2007 07:27:42)
Welcome, Lucianna88. There are many stories posted through out the website that may be of help to you. The topic of fearing hell has been addressed in some threads, too, but I can't remember the title of them or where they were located. It's sure to pop up again, as the threat of hell is often used in fundamentalism to keep the masses under control and in the fold. I was fortunate that I was able to drop it relatively quickly.
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A big revelation in my professional training was that humans can learn skills for living and relating. We don"t have to be desperate for a miracle of God to make us decent.--Marlene Winell
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MrHighwind
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(Date Posted:06/29/2007 05:06:02)
To me, hell is only fearsome to one who believes it exists in the first place. The very first concept that I shed when I began my walking away process was the idea of hell. Looking back, it's utterly laughable to think that God finds justice in eternal punishment for finite transgression. You simply can't have hell and an all-loving deity exist in the same mindset, it just creates too much cognitive dissonance.
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God heard you talking in your sleep.
God knows all the secrets that you keep.
Are you free?
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snakechic
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(Date Posted:07/07/2007 08:15:27)
To me, hell is only fearsome to one who believes it exists in the first place. The very first concept that I shed when I began my walking away process was the idea of hell. Looking back, it's utterly laughable to think that God finds justice in eternal punishment for finite transgression. You simply can't have hell and an all-loving deity exist in the same mindset, it just creates too much cognitive dissonance.
yep....
however couldn't you say that 'cognitive dissonance'..is something that christians get very, very good at ignoring?
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In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.
-- George H Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God
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