Hi and welcome.... ...(Mickey Spouse) cute!

Its an emotional tug of war...that's felt and perhaps also played out. I'm very sorry for your family and all of us with religous families who don't or can't accept non conformity, autonomy, any thing NOT in the fundie way.

I'd like to offer you support  generally however the decision is your's (& Minnies) to choose what to do in this situation. I'm leaning heavily on my own professional ethic of not giving out 'advice'.. . which is quite difficult as that goes against the culture of the internet generally....that and the fact that I have no real idea about who you are. Hope that's ok?

You've obviously read a fair bit of the WA discussions....family is one of biggest and longest challenges for people who chuck off their religous/christian over coats ...some choose to put them back on when they visit their families ..or at least wear a coat that protects them for awhile...........................Its a sad but familar set of relationship skills that's not (imo)  a very healthy practise for the individual in the long run.

 however 'familiar' the stories are on this chatroom, only you can know what to do, given that every family has its own unique style. Yep...I agree 'either way' or anyway...your wife and yourself will not enjoy the same kind of free or easy relationship had not  the issue arised in the first place. That is ....your wife Minnie decided to WA...and your own decison of..'no way no fundie beliefs for this little mouse'!

I did the 'duck and cover' for over 7 years to keep my relationship with my only sibling (and family) on course and somewhat resembling something called  'a relationship".....we (my sis and I) were closer than any sisters could be...I loved her very much and thought she loved me and cared for me........but her experience with the penties/fundies changed how she not only related to the world but how she relates to people...family included. Unfortunately love is entirely conditional.

anyway.......for me that tactic didn't work out very well turned into"shock and awe"...I felt diminished as a human being - I didn't really feel much respect for myself...and gave up my precious integrity. ....Yeah...very much 'damned if you do'....I ended up agreeing to  baptism for her sake - as an obligation of that love and to comfort her when I decided to leave our home state. Suddenly a had a relationship with people I didn't bargin for...the pastor!

I feel very sorry for your wife....she's in the best positon to know what to do about her own parents. And she's very fortunate to have the support of a inquisitive and interested husband such as yourself. Maybe your support of her can include asking her what she wants to do...about the desparte pleadings....I have an idea of what those 'desparate pleading's' feel like..............its horrible! gut wrenching and left me wondering what my relationship with my fundie family was really all about. 

The other thing I notice is that although I had empathy...as you do.....towards the fundie's 'great pain' at the thought of their loved ones 'splashing about in great lakes of fire'.....the individual has not idea of the torment they are causing as a result of their own needs. Its all about them......and their needs, their way of thinking, their love, and their chruch. To me its rather silly that all and everything can be fixed if I simply accepted an invitation to chruch........it never ends.

10 years...is a long time to not only worry about your own life and to make decision but...to have the burden of satifying or complying to another's view of what that should be like.....

anyway...as usual I've rambled - but heck that's what I love to do sometimes 

Thanks for your thoughtful anwer- I agree that it is definately up to my wife to make the decision-- i am by no means the central player in this issue, although i would like to see a resolution that my wife can live with.  We talk about it often lately and as we read your response, we launched into another discussion about the self-interest issue (inspired by the last paragraph).  At first glance i would have thought that their concerns were quite selfless-- but my wife convinced me that if they were, then maybe they would be willing (if they really wanted to "save" their girls) to re-evaluate their belief system-- that would be difficult, but it could hold the key to their daughters salvation, not "in the arms of jesus", but in the abolision of this idea of hell.  Worth a try for one's children, i would think.................well, we're getting there.    So hard to figure out who's interest one is really acting in, in matters like this.  Nothing is more difficult than to divine one's own deeper motives-- at least for me....

Thanks from us!