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(Date Posted:04/04/2003 07:40:03)
In my new apartment I get four channels, none of which I particularly like. I detest network television. I miss the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, the History Channel and the Sci-Fi Channel. I never watched network TV when I had dish. I existed on animal documentaries, mostly. Now I'm suffering from withdrawal.And...I can't stop watchingFellowship of the Ringover and over and over and over. That movie has grown on me to a point where it's almost become an obsession. I think I identify with the inner turmoil of Frodo, with the idea of carrying a great burden. I'm devastated at the loss of Gandalf. I feel it as if it were my own loss. I agonizewhen Frodo decides to go on alone at the end because "to bear a Ring of Power is to be alone." I cry whenSam would rather drown than abandon his friend. I wonder where my fellowship is...where my Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Pippin and Sam are.The movie achieves a sense of urgent emotion that the books never quite gave me, even though they are infinitely more detailed. The emotion in Peter Jackson'sFellowshipis raw, real, tangible, immediate.Dunno why I'm babbling about it...just weird I guess.
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Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust
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