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Title: Farting Preacher
  
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Dok337
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(Date Posted:02/01/2005 07:57:18)

LINK

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The internet can be separated into 2 categories: 1:Porn 2: All the shit you look at after you"re done looking at porn.

Support us Just click the links below and your donations will make a difference here.
 
Sunshine36616
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1#



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(Date Posted:02/02/2005 17:29:49)

Toilet humor is the best, especially when mixed with that fraud Robert Tilton!

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Sunshine36616
Doyle from the movie "Sling Blade" on the bible: Well I can't understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone sayeth some shit to someone else--just how retarded are you?

Voltaire
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(Date Posted:02/02/2005 18:06:13)

I thought the original farting preacher was great, but I like this one even better! Thanks, Dok!

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Zombies, Unicorns, Devils, Sea Monsters, Satyrs, Dragons, Six Winged Angels, Gods, Demons, Witches, Astrologers, A walking & talking snake, Magical fruit, Talking donkeys, human headed six-winged beasts, Ghosts. All that stuff is in the Bible and yet they tell me it"s not mythology?

Supertzar
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3#



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(Date Posted:01/16/2006 08:26:24)

Most days, when I wake up, even before I open my eyes, the first conscious thought that enters my mind is usuallly just death, impending doom,  and inescapable calamity wrapped in a generic, abstract packaging--mostly a fearful feeling with no "vision."  Today was different, however.  For some reason, the first thought that entered my mind was Moe Howard's haircut.  I started laughing out loud before I could even get my eyes open...  I thought about how his 'do makes him look like a dick.  I thought about that little robot on Buck Rogers, and how he really looks like a dick.  Then, I imagined how, in the distant future, people might actually want to look like a dick--a fashion statement.  Then I contemplated a dark, dismal, distant future where a race of mutated humans worship The Stooges, but in three distinct sects or cults--with everyone trying to duplicate the appearance and actions of their respective "Stooge God."  Each person trying to achieve a purer, more authentic form of their god.  The Moes vs. The Larrys vs. The Curlys...a hair pullin', eye pokin', belly punchin' battle for religious supremacy that ends in mutual destruction and global death...

Anyway, I knew from these thoughts that today was gonna be different from most of the rest.  God had different things in store for me today...  He has finally felt my pain, and now He has led me to this thread to see Robert Tilton.  Brilliant cinematography--I laughed, I cried, I farted...  Charismatics are great entertainers.  I think Robert Tilton has eclipsed Ernest Angley in his unselfish devotion to God.  Now, if I can just find that video clip I've seen of the fat  kid down on the floor of the front aisle having a Charismatic seizure that ends in him spinning around on his shoulder several times--a la Curly.                

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I know Satan. He's a miserable sub-human piece of shit control-freak without a life who reads all of my posts here.

Supertzar
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4#



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(Date Posted:01/22/2006 06:37:00)

Robert Tilton: The Original "Captain Stabbin." --Poot Out, Or Swim!

Robert Tilton: "Rats Are Eating My Brain!" --Hangover In The Holy Shitty

 

My, my, my...

Loose lips sink ships

So come aboard for a pleasure trip

It's high tide, so let's ride

The moon is rising and so am I!

 

I'm gonna get it up

Never gonna let it up

Cruisin' on the seven seas

A pirate of my lovin' needs

I'll never go down, never go down!

 

So let's get it up

Let's get it up

Get it right up, yeah

Lets's get it up

Right to the top!!

Let's get it up, right now!

 

Loose wires cause fires

Gettin' tangled in my desires...

So screw 'em up and plug 'em in

Then switch 'em on

And start all over again...

 

I'm gonna get it up

Never gonna let it up, no

Tickin' like a time bomb, oh yeah

Blowing out the fuse box

I'll never go down, never go down!!

--AC/DC (Anti-Christ/ Devil's Child), "Let's Get It Up"

 

Somebody needs to make a 3-D computer animation of Robert Tilton singin' this song on his yacht.  While they're at it, he should sing "Rock The Boat," by Hues Corporation,  too.  That'd totally rock!  Damn, I'm drunk...so many teepees to fix...

 

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I know Satan. He's a miserable sub-human piece of shit control-freak without a life who reads all of my posts here.

Voltaire
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5#



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(Date Posted:01/22/2006 08:23:26)

Rober Tilton is such a sleazy dork I wish rats really would eat his brain out... or maybe they've already started?

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Zombies, Unicorns, Devils, Sea Monsters, Satyrs, Dragons, Six Winged Angels, Gods, Demons, Witches, Astrologers, A walking & talking snake, Magical fruit, Talking donkeys, human headed six-winged beasts, Ghosts. All that stuff is in the Bible and yet they tell me it"s not mythology?

snakechic
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(Date Posted:01/22/2006 09:54:49)

Captn' Bob's one ugly son of a ...gun - I recon he's hiding a few rats in his hair wig and maybe he's confusin the claws scatchin his head with logical and rational thought? zap!

Charismatism - an undeniable and unscratchable ITCH  for god. Amazingly similar to rats...charismatics eagerly board a sinking stinking ship.

Praise the lawd...I'm a laying hands on my frigde - I believe I deserve a miracle......COMEON REALLY! do people buy that crap?

tamuchly - enjoyed reading  the "rotten' link.

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In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.

-- George H Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God

Supertzar
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7#



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(Date Posted:01/22/2006 12:48:18)

Yeah, "Captain Bob" is certainly a sleazy dork...  Dok's original post here has led me to do some research on Tilton and other high profile televangelists.  I've always viewed Tilton as being a very comical, entertaining figure, along with Ernest Angley, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, John Hagee, and R.G. Stair.  Of course, I'm sure that all the people who gave Tilton large sums of money, and later realized he's a fraud, don't think he's so comical and entertaining.  I'm honestly surprised that not even one of all the millions of people he's screwed over has successfully hunted that sleazy dork down, peformed decapitation, and fed his head to rats.  I don't think that'll happen anytime soon, though.  He's much smarter than his followers, and is even smarter than "the gov'ment."  Tax-exempt status for "non-profit" religious organizations coupled with no obligation to return monetary donations (gifts) to disgruntled donors, makes it a win-win situation for all con-men like Robert Tilton.  It's easy money, and they all look like they're really enjoying themselves, especially "Captain Bob."

Others, like Billy Graham, Jesse Jackson, Charles Stanley, and Al Sharpton are just plain annoying and irritating to me, especially that damned whining, pestering Charles Stanley.  "Listen, let me tell ya somethin'--blah blah blah nah nah nah poop."  Over and over and over again...     

Gene Scott, on the other hand, is different from all the rest.  Watching him used to make me wanna slash my wrists and drive screws into my forehead with a cordless drill.  In doing the research, I found out that he died almost a year ago, 2-21-05 I think, at Glendale Adventist Hospital.  I'm contemplating throwing an anniversary party.  Anyway, according to one report, he had previously donated $20,000 to the hospital.  I can't believe they accepted his money.  This says something about the current state of the adventist church.  The adventist church is infinitely more subtle and deviant than any of the churches represented by Gene Scott or any of the others.  Also, while reading up, Glendale Adventist Hospital sounded familiar to me, so I did a little more searching and found out that was where "The Angel Of Death," Efren Saldivar worked.  Maybe there is still some good left--still an "Angel Of Death" there that did me a huge favor and helped that insane wretch find his maker.

 

Dr. Gene Scott: "Born To Rot."

Dr. Gene Scott: "Supertelevangelisticgrumpyandprecocious." 

Dr. Gene Scott: "Specialist In Non-Surgical Lobotomies--Get Yours Here!" 

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I know Satan. He's a miserable sub-human piece of shit control-freak without a life who reads all of my posts here.

Voltaire
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(Date Posted:01/23/2006 08:13:23)



Gene Scott, on the other hand, is different from all the rest. Watching him used to make me wanna slash my wrists and drive screws into my forehead with a cordless drill.




I know how you feel. I'm try to refuse to believe I share any genetic material with the part of the human race that breeds people like Gene Scott and breeds people that believe in people like Gene Scott. Even though the world is better of with him pushing up... wait, I bet the daisies refuse to grow THERE... anyway, there's plenty of others waiting to take up his mantle.



I found out that he died almost a year ago, 2-21-05 I think, at Glendale Adventist Hospital.




Did you know it used to be called the Ellen White Memorial hospital? Adventists are embarassed about that lady...



Anyway, according to one report, he had previously donated $20,000 to the hospital. I can't believe they accepted his money.




If they manipulate people so poor they can hardly afford food by telling them it's a sin not to give AT LEAST 10% of their income to the church then they shouldn't have any problem accept 20 grand from a multimillionaire, scummy though he may be.

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Zombies, Unicorns, Devils, Sea Monsters, Satyrs, Dragons, Six Winged Angels, Gods, Demons, Witches, Astrologers, A walking & talking snake, Magical fruit, Talking donkeys, human headed six-winged beasts, Ghosts. All that stuff is in the Bible and yet they tell me it"s not mythology?

Voltaire
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9#



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