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(Date Posted:08/04/2009 10:00:36)
Dear all, I am a 3rd generation Pentacostal. My church is fairly focused on doctrines and fundamentalist teachings. I grew up watching my mother, who was also raised as a pentacostal, constantly arguing with my father, who was a practicing eastern spiritualist (he practiced Taosim, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc.) I was also beaten repeatedly by my mother when I did not want to be in church. After turning 18, I stayed away from church for about 10 years. Then, when I graduated from grad school, I decided to rejoin to give my life a direction. 10 years later, I find myself at the crossroads again. I suspect the credibility of various legends of the bible. I also find it very disturbing that fundamentalism can drive relatively intelligent people to do hurtful things to others, all justified in the name of religion. When I conveyed my intention to phase out fundamentalism from my life to my mother, she went nuts. She told me she was losing me. She started this crusade to save the souls of me and my children, which only brought on more opportunity for pain and suffering. My sister is also a devout believer. Unlike my mother, she is less forgiving. When she detected that I was no longer in the same fold as the rest of the family, I was practically ostracized. It saddens me to see my relationship with my most beloved family members collapse, all because of fundamentalist Christianity. I have not walked away as of yet. But my desire to do so has grown exponentially in the past months. I feel that I need to be freed from the doctrines imposed on me. It is a heavy burden that has stifled my spiritual growth. The pressure from my mother has been depressingly painful. I love her and but she thinks I am taken by the satan or something crazy like that simply because I no longer subscribe to the same brand of religion as she does. What should I do? Thank you for your help.
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