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Title: Social Skills
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(Date Posted:02/18/2009 13:34:22)

This message has been deleted due to Termination of Account.

lsl_mss
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RE:Social Skills
(Date Posted:02/19/2009 14:08:54)

M&M -

  Have you tried very simple things - such as - inquiring about what a person does for a living - what they are studying in school, etc?

  there's nothing wrong with replying - "wow - I dont' know much about that - how does it work/do you like it/how did you get interested in that" , etc....

Also - a fun, informative, and interesting site is the discussion boards at Etiquettehell.com.  Those folks have really helped me learn to set a lot of boundaries!

Check it out....

...and don't be afraid to ask people questions baou themselves - NOT religion or politics - job, school, hobbies, travel, books, movies, etc...

--------------------------------------------------------------
Courage is the price life exacts for granting peace.
~Amelia Earhart

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Chirpy
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Registered:03/06/2003
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RE:Social Skills
(Date Posted:04/13/2009 05:47:48)

I found the wiki how pages quite good.  Marlene Winnell has some good pointers as well and understands all too well how social skills are overlooked in church even to the point where the norm goes against the grain in secular life.  I wasn't encouraged to say 'Thank you' in church.  People would look away if I did and often say things like 'Thank God, not us'.  Yet they would be the first to complain if you didn't.  It's a double bind.  You lose vital social skills because you don't see much evidence of them being around you and you aren't rewarded for exhibiting them.
snakechic
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Re:Social Skills
(Date Posted:04/30/2009 19:15:49)

Hey M&M...Islmss and Chirpy...

good question...I think this applies to everyone not just to a specific group of people. Everyone has had some challeges in this area of socialising.
Practise practise practise! (don't forget you can't please everyone all the time)


Me....I used to very shy..but now I don't care too much about impressing people and all that other bullshit baggage of thinking I have to be 'perfect' or to  conform to some siilly sets of  social 'rules'  - they change with every group you get into anyway!  It would drive you mad and maybe come across as fake anyway.....(be kind yourself) Don't over worry about how you "think' you come across ...most people are too self absorbed to notice too much anyway.



Seeya later everyone.

ps.....checkout your local community college to see if it offers a "Communications" course.

(Message edited by snakechic On 05/05/2009 20:19:41)

--------------------------------------------------------------
In exchange for obedience, Christianity promises salvation in an afterlife; but in order to elicit obedience through this promise, Christianity must convince people that they need salvation, that there is something to be saved from. Christianity has nothing to offer a happy person living in a natural, intelligible universe. If Christianity is to gain a motivational foothold, it must declare war on earthly pleasure and happiness, and this, historically, has been its precise course of action. In the eyes of Christianity, woman(man) is sinful and helpless in the face of God, and is potential fuel for the flames of hell. Just as Christianity must destroy reason before it can introduce faith, so it must destroy happiness before it can introduce salvation.

-- George H Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God

sunspots
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RE:Social Skills
(Date Posted:05/12/2009 20:22:27)

Just throw yourself out there , especially where you are uncomfortable...... just smile and maintain your poise no matter what happens and maintain a sense of humor.... I remember going tru that years ago after having a socially deprived life due to my insane fundie parents

--------------------------------------------------------------
One theme that is Taboo for American publishers, noted by Vladimir Nabokov:........"the total atheist who lives a happy and useful life, and dies in his sleep at the age of 106."

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Re:Social Skills
(Date Posted:07/12/2009 16:53:44)

 my job involves helping kids with behavioral problems learn these very skills!  i love it because it lets me practice and kinda relearn things i didn't get while growing up in fundamenatalism.

the key has been understanding that it isn't a matter of being 'compliant'.  from birth on, the goal is to rear people who are COOPERATIVE, and that parents act as guides to help children learn the parts of being a cooperative part of the group in ways that lead to mutual satisfaction.  

"please" and "thank you" are so much more meaningful coming from those who have a heart behind it!  
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Chirpy
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Registered:03/06/2003
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RE:Social Skills
(Date Posted:08/02/2009 15:04:07)

I think you're right in saying that social rules vary from group to group.  Often people are accused of not having them when in reality they just don't fit into that particular group.  I'm finding intolerance nearly everywhere and not just in fundyism.  Marlene Winnell wrote that your intolerance detector is quite sharpened once you've walked away as you would have experienced it full on and questionned it.
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